Imagine if you will, hit with a croquet ball during a cookout at your suburban Oregon home, you fall into a coma. The year is 2015. Your idyllic life fades to black.

Against all odds, you awake in 2020 and returning to your neighborhood, see many of your favorite shops and eateries have closed. Walmart has sporadic shoppers, but they’re wearing masks as they shuffle zombie-like with cold, dead eyes.

In disbelief, you drive to Portland where you’re confronted with burning buildings and a screaming mob chases your car. Narrowly escaping to a nearby street, you witness a Wisconsin police officer shooting a man trying to get into his car with his screaming children.

In yet another neighborhood, an angry mob spits on passing police as they duck thrown bricks. You think, “I’m moving to somewhere safe,” but see a newscast of Minneapolis, Chicago and NYC all on fire with armed looters exiting smashed store windows carrying all sorts of valuable items.

“That’s it! I’m going to the greatest, most welcoming city in the world,” but the Las Vegas streets and casinos are deserted. “Surely the leader of my great nation will end this nightmare,” you reassure yourself, before realizing in horror, your savior is that same carnival barker you once watched on your favorite, profane guilty pleasure, “Celebrity Apprentice.”

Is this all a Mad Max remake? Has the rapture taken place and the apocalypse upon you? No, my coma-recovered friend, you have just entered … the TWILIGHT ZONE.

Your most far-fetched horror movie scenario is now reality. Like the frog in the slowly heated water, we’ve gradually become accustomed and see no real reason to panic. Heck, nothing has really changed the past few months and the frogs appear relatively content. What you thought was the end is the beginning. Rod Serling waits in the wings.

Continuing this theme of Bizarro-World normalcy, what about these grossly overpaid athletes boycotting games to ruin our viewing experience? With multi-million-dollar salaries just to play a game, what gives them the right? Shall we boycott the ungrateful malcontents?

Ever since Kaepernick took a knee, we declare with indignant outrage, “These prima donnas need to just shut up and play.” But I propose this devil’s advocate question: Isn’t that the opposite of principled unselfishness? Should they really think, “I’m lucky enough to be in the tiny percentile fraction born with uncommon athletic ability, so how dare I make noise about the other 99.9 % of my brothers?”

Isn’t that the epitome of self-absorbed entitlement? Agree or disagree with these disruptive statements, should the select few really shut their cake holes and turn their backs on their counterparts?

Perhaps they should take a lesson from the musically gifted Jews during the Holocaust, granted food and semi-humane treatment for Nazi propaganda advantage. They didn’t dare insult their generous SS captors by calling attention to the plight of millions of other victims with nothing to offer. 

Am I a RINO, or even a liberal to ponder such things? Am I, like Al Simpson, guilty of seeing both sides of social issues unworthy of independent dissection? If this really is pre-apocalypse, will only lockstep Republicans be saved? I’m a-scared!

(1) comment

Joe Battin

If you can’t say some thing nice ... must not of been taught where you were raised JJ!

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