Court is in recess until next week for my defense attorney conclusion; first I need to vent about things really sticking in my craw lately. 

If you’ve been there, you know how that leads to chaffing, and there’s little more uncomfortable than chaffing of the craw. Some irritations seem trivial till it’s your craw on fire. 

Hey spell-checker, mind your own business! I know exactly what I’m trying to say; you don’t! What kind of brilliant technology replaces perfectly good words with vaguely similar ones, sans any perspective? If I text, “I find you lovely,” I didn’t mean to say “I found your lobster.” And I was not trying to buy cocaine; I wrote “propane” and meant it!

A contractor’s wife I know sent out a memo to customers, and somehow the word, “exacerbate” got changed to a similar word sounding offensive and ridiculously out-of-context. Being the shy, reserved type, she faced the fact not one recipient ever asked about it deepened her shame.

I’ve had a bellyful of cable company’s so-called “agents” being automated voices yakking questions with no pause for answers. I’ll hear, “Tell me your account number,” and after giving two numerals, I hear, “If you don’t know your account …” and then dead silence. I bellow, “Just shut the hell up so I can tell you!” Then, “I’m sorry; I didn’t get that. Let’s try again …”

Likewise, somebody shut that loudmouth guy inside the Maverick pump up. Not only does the sudden, unsolicited advice scare me each time, but I find his thick, misshapen black beard ugly. Gas pumps should be seen and not heard. If I want chirpy chit-chat, I’ll go through Taco John’s drive-thru.

One of our senior citizens named Barney was treated rudely while sightseeing in the West Lake pull-off. To hide the identity of this beloved patriarch, we’ll say his last name is Rubble. He was brusquely ordered to leave, and if you know ol’ Barney (there’s few 90-year-olds, male or female, I’d hate more to tangle with. He still pedals around on a bicycle popping wheelies.), he wasn’t timid about informing the large gentleman it’s a public access area.

Yes, new residents should be welcomed with open arms, but it needs to work both ways. I’m told Kanye is a pleasant man, but he can’t monitor every employee 24/7. His wife Kim has been doing great work with prison reform, and I’d gladly sit with this sensible woman to discuss some of these issues over a drink. We’re two mature adults; I’m sure common sense solutions would prevail.

On a more laudatory note, Mayor Hall took part in the ground-breaking at our new animal shelter site. Show me an incumbent who loves animals as I know Matt does, and I’ll show you a man difficult to unseat. For this reason, I’ve decided not to challenge him next election. Heck, an animal lover like Matt could do wonders on the ticket with a slim-chance clown like Joe Biden.

Picture this ad: “Donald Trump has never owned a dog. Makes you wonder why, doesn’t it? Let’s get this mongrel out of office. Ad approved and paid for by Biden/Hall for 2022.”

(5) comments

Jim Jones

Can the Editors of the Cody Enterprise explain ? Is this some kind of inside joke?

Jim Jones

Clear, concise, and well-written with all points fully supported! I hope you recognize sarcasm.

Fox Blue River

Trump needs to go.

Whatsup

You need to go do you want sleepy Joe Clinton's and Obama's again

Daves Warm Nuts

Well...that was intersting.

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