So we were taught incorrectly all along. Paul Revere did not announce in his midnight ride, “One if by land, two if by sea.”
He really said, “One if by land, two if by air,” about the British Redcoat threat during the Revolutionary War.
Maybe Gen. George Washington called a misdirection play and did not want England to know his troops had complete control of the airports.
President Donald Trump must have found 1775 Continental Army intelligence documents secreted in the White House for his July 4th Salute to America speech.
“Our army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do and at Fort McHenry, under the rockets’ red glare, it had nothing but victory,” Trump said.
That, of course, leaves nothing for “Saturday Night Live” to parody.
The Wright Brothers pioneered in 1903. Fort McHenry’s moment of glory occurred in 1814, during the War of 1812, the other conflict with the British. That’s outside of last week’s war when the British ambassador to the U.S. was fired for calling Trump inept in internal memos.
Most of the known world noticed the president’s gaffe. His excuse for ludicrously mangling American history was that rain knocked out his teleprompter.
Yes, the dog apparently ate Trump’s homework. But the teleprompter didn’t write that speech.
Although this would be feast material for SNL, it is the comedy show’s off-season. In the absence of Trump imitator Alec Baldwin, et al, however, came a stellar performance by those responding via the internet.
My personal favorite mocking comment, reimagining the poetic words of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s tale of Paul Revere’s ride was: “Listen, my children, and you shall hear, of the midnight flight delay of Paul Revere.”
Here’s another good one: “I’ve seen @HamiltonMusical 4 times and I have to admit, I still tear up at the airport scene.”
Also, “Who could forget the Surrender at LaGuardia Terminal B? The Siege at Teterboro?”
Painted many years after the fact, the famous artwork “Washington Crossing the Delware” by Emanuel Leutze, did not include a airport invasion scene. However, it was drawn into the matter when people began injecting jokes into its Wikipedia entry.
Someone wrote that the daring river crossing was “the first move in a surprise attack” against German forces at Philadelphia International Airport. “Washington and his men captured runways 27 Left, 27 Right, parts of Terminal F, including the food court, baggage claim and some bathrooms.”
Singer-actress Bette Midler, who is embroiled in a twitter feud with Trump, took a shot.
She wrote, “Dear @realDonald Trump, “It just occurred to me that you & and my great, great, great grandpappy were on the same flight in 1812. The family stories of the emergency landing during the red flare are absolutely riveting.”
Since the first volume in a trilogy on the Revolutionary War by historian-author Rick Atkinson has only been recently released, he has abundant time to deal the heretofore secret airport campaign in the next volumes.
As for Paul Revere, he may well have responded, “What’s an airport?”