Even though the light bulb in my head is barely a flicker at times, the one on my smartphone is always bright.

I have a “Notes” app on my phone (icon light bulb) that I use to post info to keep. One list is “movie suggestions” – a stack of flicks that family and friends insist I should see. Those ideas pop up spontaneously at lunch or during a phone call, and the app makes it easy to add to the list “on the fly.”

Another list is the addresses of children and grandchildren. This is helpful when I’ve found the perfect birthday card and am standing in the post office to mail it right away. With my phone in hand, I don’t have to run home to search for that hastily scribbled sticky note with the address in question.

Because we watch so many old classic TV and movie westerns, I also started a list of “Old West Barbs.” With my aversion to profanity, I began keeping this list handy for comparison, just in case I need a snappy comeback. My list includes “no account buzzard,” “grizzly ol’ rhinoceros,” “lyin’ polecat,” “yellow-bellied biscuit eater” and “mangy ol’ buzzard” to name a few.

However, my biggest list is column ideas. Since I’m never sure where or when inspiration may strike, when it does, I don’t want to forget. Within the mishmash is my running list of “What’s the deal?” questions, which has become quite lengthy.

For example, our baby, daughter Erin, recently turned 40; my “I don’t get it” in this case had to do with birthday cards. I always have trouble finding the perfect sentiment, but I noticed a bigger problem than the language: Most of the cards for Erin were “Happy Birthday to my daughter” or “You mean so much to me.” Is this a sign of the times that the “from both of us” cards were fewer and more far between?

My list also questions why some winter brides insist on sleeveless gowns. Surely, they must be cold, right? Even if there’s no snow, I’m guessing that goosebumps aren’t a good look for that special day. Maybe that’s why destination weddings in the tropics are popular.

I also jotted down those TV ads or shows that are messy. More than once I’ve seen a food fight with my first thought being, “Who’s going to clean up that mess?” Having been in a food-fight-turned-brawl myself, I know how long it takes to clean. A paper towel commercial finds a dad stepping on a toy only to send his drink flying and a sticky stream flowing toward his daughter’s laptop. Who has their computer on the kitchen counter in the first place? And a holiday Hallmark movie found the main characters in an icing scuffle. What a mess!

Other things I don’t understand are clear shower doors, white pants on football players and why my favorite TV shows are broadcast at the same exact time. Plus, I wonder why an individual’s age is always mentioned in news stories and why some use the word “troop” to refer to a single serviceman. Isn’t a troop a group of soldiers?

I may not have found answers, but at least I can cross the questions off my list.

(0) comments

Welcome to the discussion.

Keep it Clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually-oriented language.
PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK.
Don't Threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
Be Truthful. Don't knowingly lie about anyone or anything.
Be Nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism that is degrading to another person.
Be Proactive. Use the 'Report' link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
Share with Us. We'd love to hear eyewitness accounts, the history behind an article.